A Conversation With My 60-Years-Old Self

Dear 60-Year-Old Me: Reflections Across Time in a Heart-to-Heart Conversation

Nov 02, 2023

Dear Ekene,

I do not want to take much of your time because, judging from my life right now, I perceive yours even would be a hell of a busy life. So, to start with, I hope you can still see. I have this concern because, over the last four years, my vision has changed three times, and I started wondering what would become of you. Although the Optometrists keep assuring me that my eye health is good - I still cannot help being worried for you.

But come to think of it, what if by the time you read this, medical science has gone so far that you will not need glasses anymore and, in turn, have better eyesight than I currently do? Interesting, indeed. Please write back and let me know.

Generally, I hope you are doing well, have finally found happiness, and that your mind is at peace. I imagine you will print this letter and have it on your screen and hardcopy at the same time as you read - so that you can highlight sentences that hit your mind. As I know, this is one of the weird things you do.

I am trying to imagine how creatively functional your home office is - did you beat my imagination, or do stuff like that no longer interest you? Well, I am confident you will have a cup of coffee, tea, wine, or water in your hand - as you will surely be doing this someday, and remembering the good old memories — I am writing this letter for you to reflect on the same.

I hope that life has turned out well for you. I am looking forward to reading at least two of your books as of the time I wrote this letter to you in the next 10 years. One, I believe you would like to uncover most of the theories and research you carried out in your field. On the other, I feel you would want to introduce people to your life's philosophy on issues that matter most to you - but please do not tell me that you would be writing about politics. I will shake my head in amazement but will not be shocked if that happens because I know your mind is one that wanders, and you always try to change your thinking by seeking new informative knowledge.

However, whatever we may plan, life always has a way of doing what it wants. So, I really hope it will at least be fair to you (health, family, and career). Life has its share of highs and lows. Still, I believe that you, with your wisdom, have navigated through it all and now find yourself in a more favourable position than I am in today. I have this long-held advice for you to keep - 'do not hold onto things so tightly that it hurts and even tends to break you.' Keep living by this, and I am sure you will be fine.

I know I have many weaknesses - be it procrastination (something people do not see, but we both know I do this a lot) or my imposter syndrome and constantly questioning my sense of belonging to a place, people, or even someone - but I can assure you that I am working hard on them, and would not allow these to disturb your tranquillity.

We used to be a very happy and confident boy, but now I am always sad, and I can't even help it. Because most times, I like to feel sad - I perceive it helps me to stay focused on my goals. But I must confess to you that I often think more about you than I think about myself and that you are the reason for all this. I save as much as I can and weigh my options rigorously so you will have the time and resources to do all I could not do.

In this process, I deprive myself of many things - be it the dream vacation I sometimes daydream of, the fancy technologies and fashion, or the countless weekend night outs that I always miss with the excuse of being too busy, tired, or even lying that I was sick. Most times, I feel sad about these, but I do not worry. Because I can see that you have done most of these by now. Thinking of your chances of doing them, I do not regret not doing them at present.

Regarding your health - please take care of it. I know I am guilty of this and have often ignored my health while prioritising other things. Imagine, I used to hold the opinion that I should always work hard and sleep less. But many studies drum pieces of evidence for the other way round and the consequences for disobedience when I get to your age if I do not listen. For this reason, I try to find a balance for you. But I am deeply sorry, and I hope you are still healthy and well. Since now I am providing for all your requirements, you do not have an excuse to not take care of yourself. I am doing my part and shifting the rest to you - as you will have to make up for all my shortcomings in this regard.

A line from one of our favourite poems reads, "And whether or not it is clear to you, No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God. Whatever you conceive him to be, And whatever your labours and aspirations are, In the noisy confusion of life. Keep peace in your soul." I practice this now, so I hope you always remember it - and also, another line from the same poem, "Beyond a wholesome discipline, Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, No less than the trees and the stars; You have a right to be here." I am not gentle with myself, so I hope life puts you in a place where you will learn how to. Finally, bear the last line of this poem in mind - "With all its sham, Drudgery and broken dreams, It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

The wise ones say that love is an elusive thing - I hope you were able to find love. I have been lucky to come across numerous amazing women. But, my imperfection of lack of sense of belonging keeps destroying these experiences before they mature into something extraordinary and beautiful. My friend says, 'When the right lady holds your hand, her fingers will fit perfectly the gaps between your fingers.' This right fit for you - I hope you are reading this letter with her by your side - as life has never disappointed me (both of us) - we are 'An Opportunity in Near Misses'.'

Over the years, I have mastered the act of being alone and being my own everything. So, in case you can't find the right fit, I hope loneliness will not drive you to settle for the wrong fit. Promise me that you will get yourself a right fit and that when you do, you will work hard to be everything she wants and deserve - extending that to your children (including plants and pets if you both will so).

When you look back on the million dreams I have now, I hope you smile satisfactorily that you worked relentlessly hard and smart to fulfil them. I have too much to share and ask, but I will write you another letter soon. Do not worry about me. I'm doing well, and I'm preparing the way for you. Moreover, life has consistently treated us kindly."

Lastly, I hope you remain, Ekene Moses, the individual known for his infectious-cutest smile, boundless compassion/big heart, and unwavering positive aura that lights up any space. Please continue to express your thoughts in some form, somehow and somewhere.

Feel free to provide additional insights when you respond. I eagerly await your reply.

Very best wishes,

Your Twenty-Something Self.

Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

If you've read this far, I'd appreciate it if you could leave your thoughts or reflections in the comments section. I genuinely take the time to read each one. Additionally, kindly impart a piece of advice you would want to convey to your older self.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

The New Chapter

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