Do Funerals Become So Quickly About Other Things That Are Not About The Person Who Died?
Reflecting on the legacy of the lived when dead
This short reflection takes me on a journey on all the biographies I have read, all the burials I have attended, the loss of loved ones, which in this case is my dad, and lastly, the legacy people make unknowingly. While they were still alive, the ones they wished to be remembered with and the ones they may not have thought people would remember them with.
We often say over the eulogy of the dead, 'Until we meet to path no more.' Still, these people (the deceased) are those we shared a moment of our lives with, and we will forever carry them on in our hearts as we go along the remaining journey of ours.
It could be that we would never meet them in a place where pathing no more is necessary or generally, it could mean that we never pathed. I often think about death as someone that travels far from within our communication reach, probably to another universe.
So I have managed to find beauty in the phenomenon of death. Those who passed on give way for us to thrive and hold on to the impacts they made in our lives.
On my dad's burial day - eight years ago, deciding where to bury him was difficult. This later became a heated argument among the family members (some of my uncles, aunts, and other extended relatives). In my mind, I knew that my father (as the family's first son) would have been angrily amused about a spot to lay him to rest being an issue. His having a say on the matter, he would have even screamed, "Burn me and throw my ashes to the air," just so for peace to reign.
Reflecting on this, I always ask myself, do funerals become so quickly about other things that are not about the person who died? My father was a man that sorts peace and tranquillity in all his deeds. He believes that it is unnecessary to sweat for small kinds of stuff. So the few fights I have seen him get into when absolutely and from my individual perspective, justifiable is always the one to protect or defend others.
He did not sit me down to teach me this. But this is now my lifestyle. I often find myself letting people in and out of my life without a fight from my side. Sometimes, it gives the impression that I don't want them or the things I let go of that much - but I know I do, I sincerely do.
Other times, I question if this is the right way to lead my life. Is it genetic or the love and admiration for my father - considering things that matter to me, the small kinds of stuff, and not fighting to keep them? But then I now understand that this is what I call The Law of Surrenderism.
Over the years, I have realised that anything you surrender to gives you absolute peace.
I wish you, my friend, a peaceful life of not sweating over the small kinds of stuff.
Peace ✌🏾
Photo credit: Author
Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.
My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.
Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.
Very well articulated 👏