On Why We Should Send More Greeting Cards
A response to the letter to the one that got away - I hope you read this...
“After five years of living in another country, you become a citizen of nowhere. This is because you can no longer fully claim ownership of citizenship of your country of origin, neither can you claim that of your new country of residence…”
I can no longer vividly remember whether these words were said directly to me by someone, or I read them from somewhere, or whether someone shared them with me, but all I could say is that every day, I can see the world becoming my resonance reality.
After five years of studying and working in Europe, although I hold my cultural identity dear to me, my grasp could best be illustrated as one who held salt so tightly in his fist before diving into the river. Water must enter and dilute the salt no matter how hard the grasp is. Depending on how long he stays underwater, he may discover nothing left to hold except a clasped empty fist.
I experienced this first-hand last year when I visited my home country after four years of living in England without visiting home. I narrated how it impacted my family bonds in this article.
Apart from the perspective of disappointments this brings, as you would constantly be questioning how things are done in your new country and comparing it with your home country, until you visit home, only to find yourself questioning every norm you know and again comparing it to the country you now live in.
Another observation that stands out most to me is how we pick some cultures from both countries and treasure them so differently and rate them above everything else we know to be true. To the point that sometimes, the cultures we have collected and assimilated from our new countries are often treasured more than the country's nationals rate them.
The act of giving and receiving cards has become one of my treasured cultures, and sometimes I wonder if English people or the West in general share the sentiment I attach to these cards. This year, I was almost literally begging for birthday cards whenever someone asked what I wanted as a birthday gift.
Also, before I came to England, I had always watched English movies with awe and wondered why these people value flowers so much to the point that they brought emotional tears to people. So, I dared to buy flowers for a few close to my heart, including myself (on Valentine's Day last year).
Still, nothing came close to the feelings I felt when I received a flower at the airport on my arrival from my home country last year. Since it came from someone dear to me, receiving flowers from a loved one evokes a heartwarming surge of joy, gratitude, and a profound sense of being cherished—I almost teared up. I could write more on this, but today is not about flowers but instead about cards.
To avoid stepping on the nerves of my home country's people, I must point out that we also give and receive greeting cards. However, I had to highlight the new level of purpose greeting cards serve in the West, which has moved me into reflecting and writing.
For instance, I have received an appreciation card from a junior colleague who is leaving the organisation for somewhere greener; I have also signed a collective one for colleagues leaving my organisation; and lastly, the ones I always appreciate a lot, I have received postcards severally from my friends when they visit abroad.
For the understanding of those not familiar with this, I will save you the time of looking a postcard up - a postcard is a small, typically rectangular piece of cardstock or stiff paper, often featuring a photograph or illustration on one side and space for a message, recipient's address, and postage on the other. It is commonly used for sending brief messages or greetings by mail, often while travelling, as a souvenir, or as a way to stay in touch with loved ones.
Tonight at 12 midnight, I went solemn and reflected on and about all the wonderful people I have encountered since I started living overseas. In my adventure, as I used to love to call it in my mind, I have come across people from all continents, and most of them come from the popular countries represented.
Some of these people, I would say, that life has happened to us and we have lost communication. However, on nights like this, I hold their cards to me, read them out loud, hug them, and send them my best wishes.
A few of the cards I received as of 2019 and 2020, I remember reading them swiftly and rushing home to file them in my box. However, I read them now and could see beyond words what the givers were trying to tell me. Furthermore, I see how, over the years of staying friends with a few, the language in their cards' messages has changed - things are turning from mere wishes to them appreciating me.
I can now see where some ladies flirted with me, but culturally, I was blind. Now, I wonder if this upset them and if it was part of why they stopped communicating.
I saw those who sent me cards in yellow wraps or wrote messages with a yellow pen. I paused to think that they did not just coincidentally do this—as I may at some point have told them that my favourite colour is yellow.
I have also been able to identify some of my friends with whom I have had the pleasure of remaining close friends all these years. They consistently send me cards on all occasions (Christmas and birthdays) without missing any. For once, I am sure I did not reciprocate these consistently as they did, but I am now convinced of how valued our friendship is to them and how much they cherished me. I hope they always know that I value their friendships and cherish them, too.
Finally, I read words that had a bittersweet effect on me, partly because I knew they were genuine and raw. Additionally, I knew those would be the last cards I would ever receive from them. I kissed those cards and held them out in the air, hoping the senders would feel a sweet sensation of care and warmth.
A special someone once told me, 'My only grief is not being given the opportunity to love as much as I want and have in my heart to.' To date, I feel hunted by those words for all the times we felt something special for someone, but time and chance meant that we could not find the right opportunity to love them as much as we wanted or had in our hearts.
I look at these cards, and I feel the presence of tens of hands of the people I have shocked hands with and laughed with. And I wish that one day, or any day that I cross their minds, they would smile or at least feel the care and best wishes I send their way.
I think that if one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken… But then… Does he ever truly live?
What do you do with your greeting cards? Please drop a comment; I am curious to know.
Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.
My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.
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